37 Lessons Learned in 37 Years – Or, Life Can Be a Beach!

What would you say to your younger self if you had the chance? What would be your words of wisdom? I recently celebrated my 37th birthday. For this occasion, I wanted to share the below list. It is something like “what I would advice my 20-year-old self”. Not that she would listen.

Let me know what you think. The wiser the better!

As my dad says, “you are the center of your universe”. Do not settle with a life which tells you otherwise.

1. Prioritize. One of the most valuable life lessons I have learned is that not everything has to be done today, and not every email needs to be responded to. Take your time. Quality over quantity.
2. Focus. Be present.
3. Build healthy habits. Promise. Say never. If you fall off track, move back on it. But start with that straightforward promise. It will not get you anywhere to say “I will try to drink more water unless I cannot because sometimes I forget, you know?”.
4. That said, work on one habit at a time. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. (You can find my daily habits here).
5. Joyfulness is a choice. Things might make you happy or sad, but when you’re joyful, when you have developed joyfulness as part of your personality, you will always find the courage to remind yourself that tomorrow is another day.
6. You don’t have to forgive someone to keep loving them.
7. And do not feel guilty if you cannot forgive them.
8. Instead of apologizing, show gratefulness. “Thank you for your time’ is much more pleasing than “I’m sorry to bother you!”. Say ‘thank you for waiting for me’ instead of apologizing for being late. Constant apologizing creates an awkward situation. Thanking them instead makes them feel good. Win-win.
9. Accept compliments with grace. Don’t think that you are being arrogant by accepting someone’s compliment.
10. Be flexible, but not spineless. Follow your set of principles.
11. People do bad things sometimes which might seem senseless. Learn to accept that you cannot understand everything. Nor can you change everything.
12. You are not responsible for everything and everyone around you, and from their actions. If people get offended by or mad at you, it might be their own insecurities, interpretations, and not your fault.
13. Similarly, people might talk about you when they think you are different. They might not know better. You do. Do not give these small talks the time they do not deserve.
14. But people do not talk about you all the time. You are not the center of their universe. You are the center of your own.
15. Besides, you do not know what everyone is going through. Be understanding.
16. Don’t make decisions when you’re angry. Don’t respond to emails when you’re not thinking rationally.
17. Remember that your thoughts (and feelings) are not facts. The only fact is that you have the capacity (potential) to re-adjust, re-interpret, and make things right by re-acting.
18. Do not ever compare yourself to others. Do check your own progress, however you define it.
19. Remember the 5/5 rule: if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
20. Do not settle. Especially in matters of the heart. ❤ “Take a lover who looks at you like may be you are magic”.
21. When anxiety or worry happens, just do a manual labour- exercise, organizing tax papers, cleaning the house. This will ease your anxiety, and your house will be dust-free!
22. Start anywhere. Writing a class paper? Working on a new song? Don’t know where to start? Start anywhere. Write a paragraph, any paragraph, and you will feel better, less overwhelmed, and this will motivate you. If you wait for inspiration, you may end up waiting forever!
23. Life IS where you are, what you are doing, right at this moment. Don’t wait for it- it is not ‘coming’, it already is. Make the moment count.
24. Remember to breathe properly.
25. Most things are not as bad as you think they are. And most thoughts and worries you have today will be gone in two days, if you let them.
26. Master your emotions. Make this a habit.
27. Communicate. Never assume your loved ones should know what you have in mind. Tell them when you are hurt or worried. Do not give people the silent treatment. Do not care for passive aggressiveness.
28. Remind yourself what is real. What is essential. What really matters.
29. If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t say it to yourself.
30. Trust the process. Don’t be discouraged by what might happen during that process.
31. When criticized, find some way to agree with your critique first, or show that you understand where your critic is coming from. Then, ask for more specifications. Worst case scenario, you learn from this exchange. Best case, they change their mind.
32. Thank people for their good behaviours, instead of focusing on the bad ones. Rewards rather than punishment.
33. Things change. So will you. You don’t need anyone’s permission to change.
34. Don’t do anything which does not feel right, or which makes you uncomfortable.
35. Welcome miracles in your life. Unexpected and wonderful things do happen. Remember them in darkness, cherish them in the light.
36. Do not go to bed without making up with your sweetheart- or with yourself!
37. Most things (not all the things, but most of the things) will depend on how you interpret, or how you ‘pronounce’ them. If you adjust yourself, life can be a beach!